Was it here that someone was talking about how the older you get the more you revert back to childish ways? Well, my mom’s childish decline is happening. NOW. I’ve talked about how it’s hard to leave my kids with her because for some reason the phone is now the most important thing in the world. If she has just a split second that I am not with her, she is immediately on her phone calling some random neighbor back home asking about the weather then bragging about how much worse or better the weather is where she is. I’m not kidding about the split second thing either, we were at the airport…THE AIRPORT and I had to use the restroom. I left the kids with her while I ran in. I come out, she is standing outside the restroom with my kids and all of the luggage just randomly calling someone…. REALLY? This couldn’t wait until we find our gate and sit?
When it comes to the phone, my mom is the equivalent to at 15 year old.
She also likes to play games, the whole I won’t call to see how long it takes you to call me. Then give you a guilt trip over how I don’t want to bother you since you are just too busy. Or the game of hurt feelings if she thinks for one second that my MIL (who lives 10 minutes away from me) might know something before her. She even pulls out the whiny voice. Her emotional maintenance is very high and for me impossible since
A: I am surrounded by testosterone 24/7 and
B: she raised me to be unemotional (funny, isn’t it)
When it come to my mom’s emotional state, she is equal to a 14 year old.
We have now come to the day where I pissed my mom off so much, she quite literally threw a tantrum in my car. Causing her to revert to a bratty 12 year old. On the verge of tears, whining, turning red, fidgeting in her seat and trying to say anything to manipulate me to change my mind.
What did I tell her to bring her to this state?
Simply, that Hubby and I had decided to not announce the name of the baby before he was born.
Readers… this lady can not handle it. CANNOT! I have never seen her so upset with me. I think I could have been 14 and knocked up by the local drug dealer and she would be happier. She has now announce that certain things she did for the other boys before they were born she will not be doing for this one since I will not tell her the name.
Now… what age does this shit put her at?
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 8:53 am
okay usually i am the defender of all mothers, just because it is such a thankless job, but WOW. no one likes feeling powerless at the hands of their children and immature behavior is easier and quite frankly more emotionally satisfying.
but based on her fit, i put her at about 13. so her phone and computer privileges need to be revoked until she can properly recognize her bad behavior, if that doesn’t work she can sit on the naughty step.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 9:28 am
I concur with snoddy, a timeout is in order for mom.
When I feel like my mom is about to pull a fit, I immediatley shut down, get off the phone and avoid her calls for about a week, then i get a call “hey are you avoiding me?” text……
And of course she said she wouldnt be like her mom, so I end up telling her…
“you always said you wanted us to let you know when you started acting like your mom? well … you are!”
and let the pouting begin…..
its comical.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 9:44 am
I’m so grateful I’m not the only one with a crazy mother.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 10:33 am
I get the pitiful voicemails from my mom. And it works. I always feel guilty and call her back.
“I could have been 14 and knocked up by the local drug dealer and she would be happier.” bahaha hilarious, Twila, hilarious.
So, I am curious. Why did you decide not tell this time? Maybe she has a gift card at Things Remembered burning a hole in her pocket and its making her crazy.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 12:27 pm
Yeah, Snoddy, I will completely say that she gave me everything she could growing up and I appreciate it and try to give her the benefit of the doubt. But the way she raised me and the way she acts now are totally different, completely throwing me.
Bottom line, this is why you don’t have only one kid. She doesn’t have anyone else other than me and my dad. It’s like you need a few kids to spread out phone calls, need to know stuff… that, and she needs another hobby.
Roxy, there are a ton of reasons why we aren’t tell them name. Mostly because I have a very hard time coming up with names (I blame being a teacher on that one) and people are a bit too liberal with their opinions when you tell them. Causing me to second, triple guess. I feel like this is my last little guy and I want to fully enjoy his name before he’s born without the peanut gallery.
Also, it took us so long to find a name for Youngest that when people asked they would then start constantly joking that we didn’t care about the kid because we didn’t have a name. It just got annoying.
This is easier. My new answer is that we will name him “seven”. (Thanks to Seinfeld reruns.)
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 12:54 pm
Here’s the deal – menopause sux. If you have to go thru all of the shit that’s involved, the least anyone can let you be is immature. It brings the concept of “misery loves company” to a whole ‘nuther level.
Welcome to the “sandwich generation” – surrounded by immature kids and parents who act immature, too. I guess it’s just an inter-generational loan…pass it on.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 1:04 pm
It’s funny Queen, I was just saying to Hubby the other night that I blame all of her randomness on menopause. I just keep telling myself that. I guess the rule should be not to mix a pregnant woman dealing with two preschoolers and a menopausal woman with no hobbies together.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 1:05 pm
twila, did her behavior start when you got married or had children?
because here is my very armchair psychologist opinion, she is very used to having your undivided attention and now she has to share and she is not used to sharing nor does she like sharing you.
the worst feeling in the world is that of being left out, but that is no excuse for a temper tantrum. I lovebthe name seven but wouldn’t tre make more sense?
as a mother of a teenager who does not always value my point of view as much as her friends it can hurt a bit, which as you pointed out i am spending more time with the younger one, he still thinks i know everything.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 1:31 pm
There is NO excuse for immature behavior & tantrums. I don’t care what your age, what you’re going through. If you are over the age of 5 or 6, you are way past the tantrum stage. Twila, I feel for you. I think I might agree with Snoddy’s last assesment. Maybe your mom is just missing the days when she had you all to herself, not an excuse, but at least an explanation and something you can confront & deal with. Unlike you, my mother is a complete wacko. I haven’t spoken to her in 4 yrs, since my Dad died and honestly, life has been OH SO MUCH better with out her psychotic, manipulative ways.
Btw, I don’t blame you one bit for not telling the name. I was trying to keep ours a secret, but I love her name SO much, that I decided to tell. And when people ask who don’t already know, I preface telling them with “if you tell me any stories (good or bad) about anyone you know with this name, I will never speak to you again”. So far, the only negative we’ve heard was when we ourselves realized her initials were A.L.F. Yeah… I’m ok with it. It could have been E.L.F. (and both hubby & I are only 5′3″)
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 3:41 pm
Well I talked this over with a couple of young bull moose over coffee this morning and they agree she is acting like a surly teenage girl. She should be forced to run wind sprints until she pikes up everything she has eaten in the last 30 days.
Twila I don’t think it has anything to do with only child as much as it is mother daughter. Mrs dub’s mom still has that kind of pull on her, while those of us with Y chromosomes can pretty much ignore anyone at anytime. So be forewarned when you are older and bitchy don’t go whinning to your 3 boys because they won’t give a shit
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 4:49 pm
I know dub, that’s the annoying part. Hubby just tells his mom to get over it, but I can see in her face that her feelings are hurt. No one every fucking listens to me when I whine. I get, “yeah, and?” I guess that’s what this blog is for… me to bitch.
Arrrr, I hate the whole initials thing Holly. We changed Eldest’s middle name because of it. Fucking people… that’s why I’m not telling you Unborn’s name.
And Snoddy, she does feel left out. She lives 1000 miles away. But I just don’t have the time to devote to making sure she feels involved 24/7.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 5:08 pm
Twila….if not Seven, and not “Trey”, how about Trip (triple)? He’s you’re third, right? Tell your Mom that’s going to be his name, and her head will spin like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. (I am also the Queen of Passive Aggressive behavior.)
Hell, my sis calls her current hubby “Cinco” (yes, he’s number 5 in a long line of hubbies….). I think she’s trying to outwed Liz Taylor.
Wednesday, 28. July 2010 at 11:21 pm
Whew, long hard day and not enough sleep last night, and the pain in my knee is keeping me awake again tonight.
Anyway, is it possible she needs to see a doctor? When my late wife started doing stuff like that, it turned out to be a manifestation of the cancer that was creeping into her brain. Serious, inappropriate commentary, language issues (either foul or just plain not germane to the subject) picking up the phone and dialing random numbers – we had long distance calls to Hong Kong, Bangkok, and other exotic locales, and I didn’t even get those bills until after she had passed through the phase.
Idiot arguments with our kids, that I am sure they blame me for and other stuff, as well as telling our grandson his “real” name (he was born out of wedlock and when my daughter married they just switched his name to her husband’s.)
My parents called me “butch” for a while, I don’t know why, but my grandmother thought it was undignified, so they stopped. I have the same initials as my father, so everyone assumed I was a junior and called me by his name, but my initials were for a different set of names.
My late wife and I called our son “Tank” because he skipped creeping and went directly to crawling and could go over almost anything. Even after he could walk he would crawl at an amazingly rapid pace, and would climb into his sisters’ laps and insist that they carry him. He decided he didn’t like Tank, and didn’t like his mother’s pet name for him “Jamie” because “that’s a girl’s name” although he heard a lot of my friends call me that over the years, which my wife liked and why she called him that.
One of my best friends as a kind was xxxxx xxxx xxxxxxx IV and his mother called him “Ivey” which was kind of fitting because he was as queer as a three dollar bill (which also brings to mind early sexual experiences, but that’s another story) while another friend was another Jim and we used to pretend that we were half brothers whose parents split up and married each other’s exes, until his girlfriend pointed out that our birthdates were too close together and that one of the fathers got left out in the deal.
My daughter was “JEL” and hated when her friends called her “jellyroll” and wanted to change her middle name.
If our son had been a girl she would have been Lydia Madeline L…… until my wife realized that that would mean she had the same initials as my mother, LML, and that was the end of that idea, she just decided to have a boy and name him after me.
Thursday, 29. July 2010 at 12:23 am
My mother has a border line personality disorder, sees a shrink and is on all sorts of medicines. She’s not bad, but does all of this stuff and its always the misery and depression, and poor me.. no balls at all on anything. She wants someone to just take care of everything so she can just sit there day after day doing nothing except talking on the phone or having a pity party. I wonder what it would be like to have a normal mother who isn’t a basket case all the time?
Thursday, 29. July 2010 at 1:15 am
Captain, sorry to hear about your mother. The older I get, the more I realize everyone has relatives who have mental problems. My father’s side of the family is composed of people who either become brilliant physicians, or else kill themselves. Until this country and the health insurance companies treat mental health on the same level as physical illness, there will always be people who suffer. No one wants to talk about it, no one wants to admit they need help, and too many people have no health insurance and no way to obtain their medications. I don’t know what the answer is, it all just sucks.
Thursday, 29. July 2010 at 8:52 am
I think as we age, and life gets in the way, things change for us. It is not that our parents change we just begin to see them differently
Thursday, 29. July 2010 at 9:40 am
Menopause!!!!
Thursday, 29. July 2010 at 5:25 pm
Captain… my husband, myself, my therapist & several of my friends are all convinced that my mother has borderline personlity disorder (the whole whoa-is-me-the-whole-world-is-out-to-get-me-i’m-not-ever-at-fault-for-anything thing). Unfortunately, she’s a GREAT bullshit artist & has never been diagnosed. Her current therapist (or at least the one she was seeing after Daddy died) believes she is suffering from PTSD from my Dad’s death (he’d been dying of cancer for over a year, it was not sudden or traumatic). SO I can relate. I grew up thinking all moms were crazy and am SO grateful I’m not at all like her. “whew”
Thursday, 29. July 2010 at 8:38 pm
Holly: Getting close to that Baby day! Woo-hoo!
Saturday, 31. July 2010 at 11:48 am
2days & a wake up! Tuesday will be here before you know it!
Saturday, 31. July 2010 at 11:03 pm
So, Holly, how much time did you spend in the military?
Monday, 2. August 2010 at 8:16 am
only one sleep ’til miss holly’s girl makes her entrance!