I’m taking my son and his girlfriend to Cabo for his 18th birthday. I think that is cause for a tiny celebration on my I’m Still Cool Chart, right? It’s disheartening enough to say that I’m the parent of an 18 year old (as of March) and it has caused me to create my I’m Still Cool Chart.
However, as many points as I’ve earned by gearing up for the Cabo trip I lost last night watching the Grammys. I felt more like a Granny Sunday night than a Grammy fan. I watched it with my 15 year old daughter who has now entered the phase of her life where she vacillates between setting me on fire versus crying because her boyfriend is at the movies with her best friend. 15 is so hard for kids!
It all started with Ke$ha. Are you asking yourself who that might be? Then you are riding in the Granny/Grammy car with me. When E! interviewed her I was lost. I leaned across the couch and tapped my ever texting daughter and asked, “Who’s that?” The answer came with an eye roll. It just went downhill after that. Who was that woman that sang with Bon Jovi? My daughter told me, but I forgot. All I remember is saying, “When I was your age we called her Leather Tuscadero“. To which she replied, “Bon Jovi is screwing her song up.” Living On A Prayer is not HER song!
Then Taylor Swift took the stage and during her 2nd song out came Stevie Nicks! And my daughter leaned over and tapped me and asked, “Who’s that?” Awww! Sweet revenge! That’s Stevie Nicks, Baby! Who’s that old Mexican? That’s Carlos Santana, Baby!
And then, with half an hour left, my daughter got up and said this was the worst Grammy display she’d ever seen and she dismissed herself from what used to be an annual event for the two of us to watch. She informed me that it was total crap that Taylor and Beyonce were shut out by that dumb group and she was tired of groups. And it left me wondering if our days of sharing in shows like the VMA’s and the Grammy’s and the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants are over, or are we just on a temporary holding pattern until she ages out of the 15 year old program she’s on right now? When will I be cool again? It’s a thought that is frightening to me, so much change all at once. I’d like to think that I’m still youthful and fun! I’m taking my kid to Cabo for pete sakes! With his girlfriend! Did I mention that? Listen to me say it again , with his girlfriend! But I have noticed the new wrinkles below my eyes and for some reason, it’s as if my body has an internal clock and it suddenly imploded , my back hurts. What the fuck. My back hurts. And my bangs are too long. My life is never right when my bangs are too long.
Damn Grammys! What a shitty way to start a week.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 10:54 am
When it comes to the teenage daughter, I feel your pain sistah! Maybe we should write a book on how to control yourself and not run their asses into the ground when they roll their eye’s at everything you say.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 11:14 am
I’m gonna say you are still cool, but that comes from a person who now doesn’t know everyone in People magazine. By the way, how do the kids know music artist when MTV doesnt even show videos anymore?
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 11:17 am
I gave up on the Grammys years ago. I had just left a seven-year career as an on-air disk jockey, and was reasonably still current on the music scene. No eye-rolling at my house!
But the Grammys were being awarded, not to the best music of the year, but the most commercially successful of the year. With 20/20 hindsight, I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I can’t tell you the last Grammys show I watched.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 11:36 am
Jennifer Nettles (half of the country duo Sugarland) sang with Bon Jovi. You can’t compare your coolness with your son against your daughter. Moms and daughters are on a totally different wavelength. Mine was in college before we became friends again – and it’s better than when she was younger because we naturally have more in common than before.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 1:23 pm
I feel old and uncool, and I don’t even have teenage children to put me in my place.
My only saving grace is my daily perezhilton.com reading, but I was also clueless on several of those interviews during the evening.
Also, can someone tell me why the ‘Pants on the Ground’ guy is being featured on E, during the Grammys?
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 1:35 pm
I’d say youre pretty fucking cool even with the longer bangs and the aching back.
Taking your son and his girlfriend to Cabo…totally fucking cool!
I have an 8yr old that already hits me with the rolling eyes. Course she only does that to me when I say I’m gonna do something to embarrass her in front of her friends.
But as of right now, she only does it to me…Mrs Hawker hasnt been hit with the eye roll. Its coming soon enough.
But yeah..youre cool…
i think I’m cool, at least my mom use to tell me so…now i dont know what to belive.
Oh god…could it be that Im not cool either…Shit…
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 2:01 pm
We are all still cool, its all those little overgrown wet spots that ain’t. Hell these kids wouldn’t know good music if it bit em’ in the ass.
Twila, stick with doggie style until you know for sure you have dominoed. You do not want to be in your mid 40’s and dealing with a teenage daughter. Trust me you will be feeling older and tireder and it can be a bloody battle.
Just think Sabrina you’ve still got one more teenage girl to go…is Patron publicly traded, now might be a good time to buy that stock
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 2:51 pm
OH, oh, miss walker! I know who Jennifer Nettles is! But that’s only because she is on Sesame Street. Does that show what my life revolves around?
I didn’t watch the Grammys, Big Love was on. A gal has to have her priorities.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 3:22 pm
miss walker – that’s fair. You’re right, daughters are totally different than sons. I’m quickly learning that! Thank goodness my son came first! He primed me for what’s to come I think. lol
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 3:22 pm
Oh and Hawker – that was fucking funny!
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 3:52 pm
yeah…there is nothing like moms kiss on the forhead and saying “you are cool, and if your friends cant see that, then you need to find better friends.”
Oh thats right…she did that the Anti-Hawker (my twin bro)….i was the fucking shit back in school….
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 3:53 pm
and i was modest back then too!
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 4:46 pm
let me just say that in my entire life i have never been accused of being hip or cool, it is just not me. let’s just say my daughter would NOT be going to cabo with her boyfriend and his mother and if that makes me un-cool i will just add it to the list.
here is where i will offend mothers with just boys … you have no idea what it is to raise a teenage girl. it is on a completely different level. they are fighting so hard to find out who they are they push against the safest thing, the person who will love them no matter what and they see if they can drive them crazy! i call the teenage years the terrible twos with a better vocabulary.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 4:54 pm
I’m with Snoddy too, never been hip or cool. When I hung out in Woodstock in 1964, I had no idea who Bob Dylan was, he was just a scruffy looking kid who played a little chess and a little guitar out in front of the Cafe Parsienne.
Once I was part of a coversation about musicians of the 60s and 70s, and someone mentioned Stevie Nicks, and I asked “Who is she?” I truly had no idea.
OTOH, I do know who Marian McPartand is.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 5:05 pm
I agree with Miss Snodgrass about girls being harder to raise. As the mother of a teenage boy you only have one penis to worry about. As the mother of a teenage girl you have millions of penises to worry about and they are all targeting your precious little daughter!
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 5:21 pm
speaking of penises, you actually might be a granny by the next grammys, if things get hot and heavy in cabo.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 6:23 pm
I do not care if my kids ever think I’m hip or cool or not. I’m not here to be their friend, their buddy or even their confidant. My job is to be their parent. To teach them right from wrong, to raise them to be respectful (of themselves and of others) and confident, and to teach them to think with their brains, not their privates.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 6:37 pm
Dudes: This has little to do with my KIDS thinking I’m cool and more the way I see myself, ya know. I have great kids…in fact mine are better than yours! Bwahahahaha!
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 6:39 pm
I’m with Miss Snodgrass on this. Are you renting one room or two? Either way, it doesn’t sound like a great situation.
And I know most people here don’t even know what Woodstock was, but if anyone was there in 1964, that’s a mere five years before it actually took place, in 1969.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 7:07 pm
Good gracious people…
I’m renting a one bedroom suite. I’m sleeping on the couch – only after I buy a package of Mexican condoms for them…oh and that’s only AFTER I’ve bought them all the Mexican tequila shots their youthful bodies can handle. Then I’m going to take a bunch of sleeping pills so I can konk out and not have to hear them. Oh, and it has an ocean view. Cuz I’m irresponsible like that.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 7:31 pm
be sure to set up a video cam before you pass out
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 7:48 pm
Did that wrong above, when Stevie Nicks was mentioned I asked “Who is HE?”
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 8:01 pm
Rog, the “Woodtock Music Festival” did not take place anywhere near Woodstock. In 1969 I was sailing the ocean blue for Uncle Sam.
In road miles, it is more than 80 miles from Woodstock to where the concert took place, it was about 25 miles from my house to Woodstock. Cafe Parisienne was the nearest place to my home to get real expresso back then, and I really enjoy expresso.
Sabrina, I don’t know why you are going for Mexican condoms, are you trying for early grandchildren? Pick them up here before you go.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 8:17 pm
Oh that’s right Jim.
Get the condoms HERE; get the WEED there! I gotta keep that straight, for the sake of the kids and all.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 8:18 pm
Snoddy…remember that we were all teenage girls at one time. I remember those days pretty clearly. And trust me, boys are just as wacky/searching/emotional at 13 as any girl can be, and vacillate between trying desperately to be “a man” and still being a little boy. I think it’s just adolescent angst, regardless of gender.
I do like Deb’s comment that we only have one penis to worry about, though. It’s so true. That said, girls today seem to be ‘way more precocious than we were at the same age, and are pretty damn aggressive. I’ve been on a few field trips with some middle schoolers and their conversations were pretty mature, as was their “flirting”.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 8:21 pm
BTW – while we’re on the subject, WTF is up with Taylor Swift? That girl can write a pretty song, but cannot carry a tune in a bucket. The way she butchered the harmonies on “Rhiannon” with Stevie Nicks made me cringe. And yet, Taylor still wins big. I don’t get it.
I long for the days when a singer was a singer, didn’t need earphones to stay on key, or auto-tune in a studio to make them sound better.
OK, I will get off the soap box for now.
Tuesday, 2. February 2010 at 8:45 pm
Damn, I go away for a couple of hours and all hell breaks loose. I always miss the good shit when it happens!
Queenie the reason that Taylor Swift sounds ok on a record and like shit on stage is called record production. They punch her voice.
Sabrina, if you are supplying the weed, shots, and condoms will you adopt me? I’ll pay my own way. Just think you could go around telling everyone your taking your son to Cabo for his 47th birthday. Think of all the compliments you’ll get on how great you look for your age. After we get the kids stoned, drunk and worn out from all the wild monkey sex, we can hit the clubs and I can be your wingman. Wouldn’t that be great, see me walk up to a bunch of college boys and ask who wants to do my mom tonight? and then the sultry Sabrina walks up and gives them a look of pure lust
Snoddy, I actually did something similar to this high school. We had a group of guy’s and girls who went to Port A and a couple of Moms went to keep things somewhat rational.
Wednesday, 3. February 2010 at 7:04 am
regardless of what your kids think….I think youre pretty cool. I’d hang out with ya.
Wednesday, 3. February 2010 at 8:29 pm
Ddub – my point exactly. “Singers” today are studio productions…thanks to Auto-Tune and Melodizer. Taylor Swift and Britney Spears are good examples of that – not bad on a recording, but off-key and “thin” sounding when singing live.
BTW – what’s better – Port A or Padre? Never been to either.
Wednesday, 3. February 2010 at 8:59 pm
So. Padre if you go all the way down to Port Isabel, Port A is a little trashy
Wednesday, 3. February 2010 at 9:07 pm
Hey Queen – I think it depends on what you’re looking for. Port A is a little trashy…but who isn’t now a days?
)
Thursday, 4. February 2010 at 1:20 pm
Being cool to your kids — at least while they’re still kids — is temporary and over rated at best. At worst, it’s an unattainable illusion.
In most cases, the only time you hear your kids say “you’re cool” is when you let them do something they want to do but your better judgment tells you they shouldn’t. Sometimes, it’s a lapse in parental judgment. Other times, it’s more of an abdication of parental responsibility. Which is easier, saying yes and being told you’re cool or saying no and being told you’re the worst mom/dad in the world?
When our son and daughter were growing up, we faced this challenge too many times to count. I recall telling our kids on more than one occasion that what we did/said was because we had their best interests at heart … even if it didn’t seem that way at the time.
I also told them that we weren’t trying to be their friends. That they would have many friends during their lives, but only one set of parents. We would do what we thought was best for them, even if that made us un-cool and the worst parents on the face of the earth.
Happy Ending: Now that both our son (33) and daughter (29) are grown up, they now understand why we did what we did and have thanked us for drawing a line and sticking with it. We have also moved into a stage of life where we have adult friendships with them because they don’t need our help or guidance … unless they ask for it. I’m glad we set a positive example for them and both kids grew up to be mature, independent adults who make good solid decisions on their own. As a parent, that is SO much more rewarding than being cool.
Thursday, 4. February 2010 at 1:55 pm
Dusty, you said it a lot better than I did, but that’s what I was going for.
Friday, 5. February 2010 at 7:07 am
Sabrina, I have been thinking about this a lot, well, not that much, but enough that I have had an epiphany.
You could save yourself a lot of money by just getting the kids a room at the Great Wolf or Gaylord and dropping them off with a couple of boxes of good quality condoms and some sex toys.
I mean, why fly them all the way to Mexico so they can do something they can do here?
Friday, 5. February 2010 at 8:06 am
Aren’t you going to be at least a little bit uncomfortable being on the couch with them being so near in the bedroom? Aren’t they going to be uncomfortable doing things with a Mother there? You’re a braver woman than I am.
Friday, 5. February 2010 at 12:16 pm
Deb…do you not get that I’m joking?
Dusty, et al: This post was not a question of being cool to my kids. It was about me being cool in my own mind. I am not out to be friends with my kids. I’m extremely tight with my kids, but I’m still the parent, and I parent very well, thank you. When my son turns 18 I do want to be his friend – he’ll be a friggin adult! But I’m not taking him to Cabo because I want to earn any points WITH HIM. I’m doing it because I want to and I think it’s nice for a celebration of his 18th b-day. And I think very highly of his girlfriend. I don’t have any concern that they will be doing anything wrong because they respect me enough not to do that PLUS I wasn’t kidding when I said she’d be sleeping with me in the bed and my son will be on the couch. We have already had an in depth conversation about my expectations.
So, please quote me where I say I want my KIDS to think I’m cool. I think it’s easy to jump my parental groin because I have a blog and I put it out there. But you all need to back on up because no one is the perfect parent and no kid is perfect, so ease up off and out of my groin region. Consider, perhaps, that this is a blog entry that perhaps has been read the wrong way. You all know me pretty well now – do you really think I’m that jacked up that I would allow this behavior amongst my children? Do you really think I’m not a total ass hole? Because I so am – in every area, including parenting.
Friday, 5. February 2010 at 12:41 pm
Sorry – I got that you want to parent your kids and that the cool thing was a joke. But I guess I missed the part where you were sleeping with the girlfriend and thought you were serious about giving them the bedroom and you taking the couch. I do think you are cool – that is why I believed you!
Friday, 5. February 2010 at 12:44 pm
LOL Deb!! I’m cool, but I’m not THAT cool!
Saturday, 6. February 2010 at 9:32 pm
Wait? No Condoms?
I am very confused.