(The title of this post is a title of a great girl kid book)

Well – HI and all.  Welcome to Roller Coaster Sabrina.  In this chapter we will cover how Sabrina dug her head out of the sand and actually rented a UHaul from Canada to move into Cougar Lane on Sunday.  So while you will all be watching football (jerks) I will be directing my couch towards a moving van.

Nothing really happened to spark it.  It just sort of came to me.  I’m so busy trying to find happy that I think it’s chasing me in circles…or something more Dahli Lama-esque.  But since I keep you posted on almost all things Sabrina, and I won’t have Internet at Cougar Lane until Wednesday, I’m telling you now that Cougar Lane will officially open it’s Pleasure Palace after the hook up on Wednesday.

Thank you for all your support on the ups and the downs, but I feel really good about the decision this time.  It’s time.  I’ve been moving some little bits of crap over there all evening and it really feels good, solid in a way.  So I’ll catch you all on the flip side on Wednesday where I will be stuffing my face with chocolate covered oreos and drinking my bottle of Patron from my infamous green cup.

Love you all – even you Dub,

Sab

What are you doing?

Why are you reading this? You should be enjoying family and working on the feast for tomorrow. Not trying to figure out what I’m doing.

What is Twila doing?  I’m sitting on my ass, letting tons of Tia’s and Vo’s dote on my kids and stuff me with yummy food we can’t get in Texas. Enjoying every minute.

Hope you all have a very Happy, Thankful Thanksgiving.

We all know that a few months ago the Housewives started a weight loss wager that was cancelled. I said then, that I was going to keep it up with or without my lovelies.

Drum roll please……

I AM NOW IN MY PRE PREGNANCY CLOTHES!!!!! Not the ones from Youngest, I was back in those just 2 months after he was born. (I never lost all of the weight from Eldest.) But the ones from my dear 1st child. The one that I put on 60 pounds for. The one that took 3 1/2 hours of pushing & major doctor assistance to get out.

I am not all the way to my goal but I am getting oh so close. And the fact that I not only buttoned up my non stretch pre pregnancy jeans but can move, sit and eat with them on is one of the most delightful things. I’m also OK with the fact that my pre pregnancy shirts don’t fit because my boobs decided to stay big. Talk about a sweet deal.

I’m not gonna go out and celebrate, because I still have more pounds to go and I am determined to fit into those jeans I bought as a weight goal before my kids. There are still there, looming in my closet. Daring me to wear them. I can almost hear them laughing at me and saying, “Thanksgiving, a 2 week vacation and Christmas are coming. There’s no way you are ever putting me on.” That’s when I yell back, “Fuck you evil jeans! I will wear you, you will not only kiss my ass but you’re also gonna hug it and like it.”

I am now putting it out there, that I am determined to wear those evil jeans by Valentine’s day. It seems so far away but I have come to the realization that this is a very slow process. It took me years to put this weight on so I think 9 months to take it off is ok.

Off I go to the gym.

Today is Moving Day.  But I’m not moving.  I’m also out of the option period on the house on Cougar Lane, so I have to buy it. 

After a major emotional dump yesterday, I decided I needed to give this marriage more credit.  Dare I say that my marriage is in recovery?  Dare I say that I do want to be married?  Could I really be so stupid and throw away everything?

It hit me when I thought about Christmas Eve.  Who was I going to high five after it was over?  Another year, we had survived Christmas, Santa’s presents were under the tree and waiting , we’d pulled it off again.  Who was I going to high five? 

We could go ahead and move into the house on Cougar Lane, but it’s a major step down from where we live now.  It was to be my “single mom house”, and it would’ve been perfect for that scenario.  We’ll likely put it right back on the market, which sucks, but it stands like a wart as a picture of our marriage’s demise.

Am I totally confused?  You betcha.  Are my eyes so swollen from crying that I look like I’ve pulled an all nighter?  You betcha.  Am I focused on the one string my marriage has left and am I trying to hold onto it?  You betcha.  Because after a lot of good thinking I’m married to a man that gets me.  He knows about the scars I have and why they are there because he nursed me back to health after each one.  And he loves me anyway.  He knows what it requires to get me off , which may sound like no big deal, but if you’ve ever been with someone that didn’t know how then you’d know how big a deal it is.  He knows my nooks and crannies, mentally and physically.

Today is Moving Day, and I’m not moving.

I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have picked up the freaking first ‘Twilight’ Book. Each time I pick one up, my life is put on hold for a 24 hour period. I lose myself in annoying Bella’s world, and I can’t stop until the book is done.

That’s not really my problem with the series, though. The problem is that I find myself getting hot and bothered over 16 year-olds.  On Tuesday I did not work, and I did not talk to anyone.  I simply laid in bed ALL DAY and read ‘New Moon’.  The only time I stopped reading was when I fell asleep for a quick nap.  During that nap, I happily found myself banging Taylor Lautner, aka. Jacob Black.  Yes, I think you can all assume by now that I’m a little sex starved, but there is a bit of guilt in me that I’m lusting over, essentially, what’s a child.

Should I be worried over this?  I can get past Edward Cullen.  First, I’m really not jumping anywhere near the Robert Pattinson bandwagon.  Second, I could justify lusting after Edward just a bit more since, technically, he is really 115 years old, or something like that.  Granted he’s wrapped up in like a 17 year old package, but for some reason if I was banging him in my dreams, I could deal with it.

I guess I need to stop reading these books, and I’m not sure I can allow myself to go to the movie on Friday night.  God knows what will fill my Friday evening’s thoughts.

And just for the record, I do not lurk around high schools or anything like that.  It’s solely Jacob Black!

Hubby and I have a credit card just like every other American. We enjoy getting the points back. We even have a deal where we save up and take turns on spending it. If we were responsible, we would save it all for X-mas gifts. But we aren’t. We can afford X-mas, so we use it to get stuff that we would normally put off.  We’ve got some pretty cool shit, my nice camera, woodworking tools…

Credit card points bring me to a commercial that has been driving me up the wall. The one where the women shows off her new dress to her husband and he is so inspired by it that he suggests they use the points to go on a romantic getaway. But guess what? They can’t. Because that bitch spent it all on a dress. A FUCKING DRESS! A dress that she will wear once. How much did that damn dress cost that it used up enough points to pay for a trip to Europe? Is it lined with organic hundred dollar bills? Did the manufacturer of the dress use the proceeds to build a house in New Orleans for Habitat? Why did it cost that much?

That’s not the biggest problem I have with it. It’s the guys reaction. He just gives her this “Awwww shucks, how cute,” look.

I need that man to show some anger over the fact that his wife just spent all of their points on a dress. I need him to say, “Listen bitch, I understand that you think that these points belong to you because you have a spending problem and we are on the verge of bankruptcy because of it. But I pay the fucking bill, therefore I should get to have a say. And I say we spend a romantic vacation together. Got that? Bitch.” Pretty romantic, huh.

Alright, I got that off my heaving chest.

If the ad for Passion.com comes up, click on it and watch the video.  It’s hysterical!

Dudes.  Moving is , like , hard and shit.  Trying to divide bowls and cookware between 2 people isn’t exactly as easy as it sounds.  AND, I just found out that none of our utilities had my name on them, so I get to pay for hooking up electricity with a ton of deposits.  AND, I had to figure out homeowner’s insurance.  Do you know how annoying that is?  How looooong you have to be put on hold just to get that done.

On top of that you have to throw in a husband that is hot and cold.  Some moments he’s laughing with me and we’re joking about wooden spoons and the next he’s telling me he may never want me back after this.  And, OUCH!  I always felt like the ball was in my court.  That I was in charge.  Of course he’d want me back!  Of course he’s going to miss me!  But he was a hard fish to catch, and even harder one to get in the boat.  He says I’m throwing him back out into the ocean.  I say I’m wrapping him up real good with real quality foil and storing him in the freezer. 

I close on the new house at 10am this Friday and movers are here at noon.  It’s all so surreal.  On one hand I get it, I pulled the trigger, I set these actions into motion.  On the other hand, I’m so very lost.  But I’m pulling up my boot straps and figuring it all out!  On my own!  Housekeeper is here today and she’s tutoring me on laundry.  Very exciting stuff. (Yawn)

So I’m an avid Oprah watcher, and today’s episode is one that I’m really torn about. I usually don’t enjoy talking politics, but this idiotic bitch, who Oprah will be interviewing today, truly gets on my last nerve. Now let me just say that I grew up in an uber conservative household. In high school, I LOVED the Republican Party.  My family members were big contributors, and I even got to see George Sr. speak several times.  I also owned all of Rush Limbaugh’s books, and I actually highlighted them.  Yep, I highlighted them because I thought he had so many awesome things to say that I wanted to easily reference them.

Over the years, my political views have changed. I’m very split down the middle. When McCain introduced his new prized possession at the Republican Convention, I have to say that her speech was impressive. However, over time, well, she became the true Sarah Palin.  Yes, I understand that every politician is power and money hungry, but the difference with her, is that she’s an idiot.  How anyone believes she is the future of this country is beyond me.

My mom and I actually stopped speaking to each other for a while after a political argument. I made fun of her precious Sarah, and she couldn’t handle it. I asked her, months after Sarah had shown her true colors, if she was still aboard the Sarah train.  She said yes. Please God, someone explain to me how anyone can be aboard this train?

So here’s my political view without taking sides because if the Republican Party came up with a competent person, I can’t say I wouldn’t go that route.  Thinking of her as our potential president makes me want to move to Canada, and I hate the cold.  Shit, I think living in Mexico City even sounds better, and there’s a very good chance I would get shot.

I may just have to delete the tivo’d Oprah for the day. I grew up in the north, but listening to this woman’s voice is like nails on a never ending chalkboard. I literally can’t handle it.  What’s really funny is that 10 years ago, living in conservative Texas would have been my heaven.  Now sometimes, I feel like it’s hell.

If you love this woman, please feel free to post and tell me the reasons why.  I’m doing everything I can to understand this love for her.  And I truly am serious about trying to understand this.

That is all I’ll say about politics.